Being alone isnt that much fun...

So, as I look around the condo I hate everything about it! Everything here is a constant reminder of Jorge and the way our life was before he left. I hadn't really noticed it before...I mean I was so busy with everything I didn't have time to look around and see everything. Now that I am done with school and have a little break before I start again I find myself wondering around the condo. The couch I hate that couch, not because it is uncomfortable but because that's where Jorge and I would sit after dinner and cuddle and watch TV...I hate our bed...because that's where I would fall asleep in his arms and where our bodies became one...I hate this Kitchen..it is where we would sometimes make dinner together..now I make a meal just for me....I hate this dinning room table..it is where we were when Jorge asked me to marry him and where we ate every meal together. Now I cant even eat there.. I often wonder if I make things harder on myself then I should, is it ok to hate everything around you becasue it reminds you of someone or should I be embracing the memories of it all. I dont know.. I have good days and I have bad days and most of my days start off good and turn into bad... I how I cant wait to have Jorge home.........

I feel as though my head is about to explode!! I feel that I have a million things that are going on and not enough time to get to them all, but at the end of the day when I talk to Jorge I seem to almost forget my frantic world that I call my life. Jorge just seems to calm me and make me feel hopeful..He is the light of my life and I am as better person for loving him! I cant wait to graduate and move on with my schooling and life. I know that the next steps in the process will not be easy but I feel that I will make it through it. It is almost scary thinking back to where I was before I started to stand up for myself, I can say now that with everything that is going on n my life I am a truly stronger person. It sucks that I had to grow as a person the way that I am but I wouldn't really change things....well maybe just a few, but I am glad for what I have and am proud of what I have done with my life. What else can I say besides....GO ME!!! lol